So, What’s Next For You?

The question I have been asked every day for the last month, and guess what…. I DON’T KNOW. Sometimes I feel like people are thrown off when you tell them you actually don’t know what you’re next step in life is. Am I the only person who’s plan is to just make it through the day ?

Next week I will be ending my career with a company I have spent the last 4 years with. It’s very bittersweet, but I do know I am ready to close this chapter and open the doors for a new one. I’m 26 years old with a 16 month old daughter at home, another one on the way, and trying to navigate the first year of marriage with my dear husband.

Maybe it’s just in people’s nature to always ask what your future plans are because they think everyone has it figured out? If so, what do they think when someone doesn’t know. Do they think that person is lost in this world and in need of direction?

I’ll still continue to work part time at the bar which means my days will be filled with doing what I love the most, being a mom. This is something I have always battled accepting is perfectly ok. It IS ok to love being home and raising a child. Raising them to go out in to the world and treat people with kindness, understand right from wrong, and encourage them to be who they want to be. I’m going to enjoy scheduling play groups instead of meetings and walks around the park instead of the office.

If there is one thing I have learned since becoming a mother is that a career will always be there but children grow up fast and being a mother will ALWAYS be my favorite job of all.

My Organized Mess

Being a parent is already chaotic enough and when you throw ADHD in the mix every day can be a circus. When it comes to playing in forts, banging on pots and pans, singing and dancing you could say i’m like the energizer bunny. When it comes to making it to appointments on time, putting our clothes away, pretty much anything that requires organization… i’m not the best.

That’s what navigating parenthood is all about though, right? Some days we are rockstars and actually get everything crossed off our list for that day… and then there are other days when it’s 5 pm, dad is pulling up in the driveway and we are still in our pajamas running around the house.

There are a few things that keeps my life in order on a day-to-day basis and I’m guessing there are other parents out there that can relate. As someone that is not very well organized these are a few things that help get me through the day:

  • Every morning, make your bed. Sounds silly but there is something about making my bed every morning that keeps me mentally organized.
  • Make a list. I know this sounds so cliche but seriously, making a list lays out what you need to do that day and also feels great when you can cross things off.
  • Working out. This is such a difficult one that even I struggle with each day. As parents we give so much of ourselves to our family.. I truly believe it is so important for our mental health to take even 20 minutes a day for ourselves.
  • Get in a routine. As someone with ADHD daily routines keep me balanced and now having a daughter I realized having her in a consistent daily routine is important for her as well.

I’m always interested in hearing tips on what works for other parents to navigate the crazy day-to-day life with children. Please share some of yours!

It’s Time For a Boycott

Sometimes I wonder if I were to boycott my “wifely” duties for a week what would happen. Would everyone be eating food off the floor with their hands and wiping their asses with bath towels?

I work a few week nights at a local bar. Typically I’m there by 4 pm and return some time before midnight. Dinner is ALWAYS cooked and ready to eat before I leave so no one goes hungry. Wednesdays are never easy for this household. Usually my husband gets home from work around 3:45 pm, we share a quick kiss and I am out the door. This particular Wednesday was extra stressful. I’m trying to put makeup on with no mirror while chasing my daughter around the kitchen as she’s death gripping a butter knife that i’m not even sure what black hole she found in.

To make things worse, my husband worked from home today. So I know he can hear us running around from the basement and i’m almost positive if I did walk down there he would be on his second game of NHL and definitely not working.

I’ve got 5 minutes before I have to be to work… I scream for my husband to get upstairs. I should add that usually this five minute window before I need to be out the door is absolute madness. He gets upstairs, I pass parental duties off to him, tell him dinner is in the oven and i’m off.

I really enjoy the 3 minute drive I have to work of pure silence as I leave one chaotic situation and enter myself into another….as much as I complain about the craziness I think deep down I do enjoy it and almost thrive in these environments.

Work was like any other night, busy. So, when I pull up into the driveway around midnight the level of exhaustion is real. For any working moms out there you know this situation of what is about to happen next all to well….

I walk up the stairs to our kitchen and can already feel the mess of dishes, toys, trash, etc., thats about to flood over me as I open that door.

I open the door and so it begins, a few empty glasses that are sitting not even IN the sink, but next to it. One of which has a little red wine left in it.. which already pisses me off because being pregnant I miss the occasional glass of wine with dinner more than anything. There’s some wrappers on the ground, i’m guessing the dog got into the trash. Plates, forks, knives are scattered all over the counter… and here’s the kicker, THE DISHWASHER IS COMPLETELY EMPTY.

I feel like smoke is literally coming out my ears. I turn the corner to look at the oven and it’s game over. This is what I see;

Please raise your hand if you have experienced this. What WAS supposed to be left overs couldn’t even make its way to the trash. I would like to say that this is the first time something like this has happened but it’s not.

In the famous words of Jane Levinson “ I am out of carrots. I am out of sticks.”

I think it’s time for a boycott.

Nothing Good Comes From a Lack of Sleep

I feel like all these stories start with me sitting in my mother’s living room on a Sunday afternoon, usually running on 4 hours of sleep, dramatically crying about feeling like my relationship is falling apart, (which is usually fueled by the no sleep) and begging my mom for some sort of guidance. My husband and I had gotten in a fight over something very minor, but again with the no sleep I reacted like a two year old resisting a long overdue nap. I feel like the first year of marriage is tough for any couple and it’s especially tough when you have a 16 month old and baby #2 on the way.

Whenever my husband and I are in a rut thats my cue to get a date night on the books. Usually I would say lets just go to the nearest restaurant and grab dinner but this time I wanted to come up with something a little more creative. So what did I do? Went to Google and searched date night ideas for parents. Lets break down a few of them;

  • Go the Hardware store. Love my husband but the last time he tried to help my dad with a DIY project he ended up with a 2×4 to the face and a nice black eye.
  • Research your local train and bus lines.…. and hop on and never look back??
  • Give each other haircuts. Where do I even start with this one.
  • Draw each other. I didn’t even need a date night for this one… definitely my favorite.

Safe to say none of these ideas were going to happen, but reading this list gave me what I needed most, a good laugh. It was now Sunday night, I can’t even recall what my husband and I were arguing about earlier that day. I was so overly tired that I almost felt high from all the laughter as I was reading off some of these date night ideas to my husband.

As I look back on Sunday’s epic meltdown I realized one thing: lack of sleep is the energy for an emotional rollercoaster.

“you should try blogging”

The words my mother told me as we sat in the kitchen discussing (for the millionth time) what I should do with my life. Let me preface, I am 26 years old… I have a 15 month old daughter and have been married 7 months (you do the math with what came first). I work part time for a tech company, part time as a bartender and of course full time mother, wife, cook, maid, etc., I am nearing the end of my 4 year career with my day job, which is very bittersweet. For the first time in my life I can actually say I don’t know what I want to do with my life.

” You’re 26 years old, you should know what you want to do with your life, and have a career your passionate about” my 24 year old brother said to me a few weeks back.

But do I really have to know what I want to with my life this exact moment? Do I want to start over with a job I probably won’t like, working 40 hours a week, sitting at a desk and staring at a screen and punching keys ALL. DAMN. DAY. ?

Maybe this blog will be the perfect outlet to help me figure out what it is I want to do with my life. Also, if there is anyone out there that has been or is currently in this situation.. please reach out to me so I know I am not alone/crazy.