It’s Time For a Boycott

Sometimes I wonder if I were to boycott my “wifely” duties for a week what would happen. Would everyone be eating food off the floor with their hands and wiping their asses with bath towels?

I work a few week nights at a local bar. Typically I’m there by 4 pm and return some time before midnight. Dinner is ALWAYS cooked and ready to eat before I leave so no one goes hungry. Wednesdays are never easy for this household. Usually my husband gets home from work around 3:45 pm, we share a quick kiss and I am out the door. This particular Wednesday was extra stressful. I’m trying to put makeup on with no mirror while chasing my daughter around the kitchen as she’s death gripping a butter knife that i’m not even sure what black hole she found in.

To make things worse, my husband worked from home today. So I know he can hear us running around from the basement and i’m almost positive if I did walk down there he would be on his second game of NHL and definitely not working.

I’ve got 5 minutes before I have to be to work… I scream for my husband to get upstairs. I should add that usually this five minute window before I need to be out the door is absolute madness. He gets upstairs, I pass parental duties off to him, tell him dinner is in the oven and i’m off.

I really enjoy the 3 minute drive I have to work of pure silence as I leave one chaotic situation and enter myself into another….as much as I complain about the craziness I think deep down I do enjoy it and almost thrive in these environments.

Work was like any other night, busy. So, when I pull up into the driveway around midnight the level of exhaustion is real. For any working moms out there you know this situation of what is about to happen next all to well….

I walk up the stairs to our kitchen and can already feel the mess of dishes, toys, trash, etc., thats about to flood over me as I open that door.

I open the door and so it begins, a few empty glasses that are sitting not even IN the sink, but next to it. One of which has a little red wine left in it.. which already pisses me off because being pregnant I miss the occasional glass of wine with dinner more than anything. There’s some wrappers on the ground, i’m guessing the dog got into the trash. Plates, forks, knives are scattered all over the counter… and here’s the kicker, THE DISHWASHER IS COMPLETELY EMPTY.

I feel like smoke is literally coming out my ears. I turn the corner to look at the oven and it’s game over. This is what I see;

Please raise your hand if you have experienced this. What WAS supposed to be left overs couldn’t even make its way to the trash. I would like to say that this is the first time something like this has happened but it’s not.

In the famous words of Jane Levinson “ I am out of carrots. I am out of sticks.”

I think it’s time for a boycott.


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